Not eating SUCKS

It's true, being hungry sucks. I feel down all the time, I hate the feeling of hunger! It turns me into a miserable, irritable, depressive b*tch. However these feelings get to me so much that it's got to the point where I can't be bothered to eat. I feel like, what's the point? I'll eat a small portion of pasta, and feel even more hungry once I've finished!


Take today for example, woke up late due to lack of energy (through lack of eating) and therefore missed my lectures. Not a good start to the day. I was so annoyed and anxious that the thought of eating anything was nauseating. At around 6PM I managed to eat two slices of toast with peanut butter on them. Wow, what a fantastic balanced meal... I think not.


Pretty much everyday since I last updated this blog has been like this in terms of how I have felt and what I have eaten. The other thing that's stopping me from eating properly and on a regular basis, is the state that the shared kitchen in my student accommodation is left in. Its filthy and disgusting. People drop bits of food all over the floor, and just leave them there to rot. One of my flatmates uses a ridiculous amount of oil when frying food (for pretty much every meal) and somehow manages to spill half of the cooking oil over the stove, the kitchen work tops, AND the floor. They then think that cleaning it with just water will solve the problem, and of course instead it's just spreading the oil around from surface to surface. What's worse is, whoever it is, tends to just dump the frying pan with the remaining oil into the sink, with everybody else's washing up. This means that every other item in the sink ends up with a layer of grease, which physically repulses me. No wonder I hardly have an appetite these days!


Studied myself in the mirror again today, still can't see any difference, even though I'm practically eating nothing during the day now, and a small pointless, feeble 'meal' in the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, this isn't always through choice, the money situation is no longer bleak, it's just non existent. There is no money situation, because there is no money. This is another thing which annoys me, people don't seem to understand that when you say you have NO money it means, you have NO money. People constantly say to me, 'Surely you have ten or twenty pounds you could spend on coming out tonight?' No, is the answer to that, no I don't just have a spare ten or twenty pounds laying around in my flat, and even if I did, it would be going straight on FOOD, the thing I need to keep me alive, rather than four or five drinks in over priced garish bars. 


One thing I've noticed also is that whenever you are hungry, all people tend to do is talk about food. Even if they're close friends, who know your situation, they will still insist on telling you about the fantastically huge amount of amazing food they have to look forward to for their dinners. And what's even worse, is that even if I had access to the same amount of food they eat daily, I'd put on a sh*t load of weight, unlike them of course. I don't mean to come across as bitter, but come on, we all know that one person who can eat like a horse and just get skinnier. 


So yes, on that note let me take the time to add that anybody following a minimalist diet like myself by CHOICE, you are crazy. Go buy a burger, because not eating SUCKS!


:)

Update

I haven't been keeping up to date with this as I have been really ill over the last few days! The diet has gone horribly as I have only just got back from my parents house today (a very long weekend indeed!). I was just grateful for someone to make my meals for me so have been consuming whatever has been put in front of me, chips, sausages, copious amounts of bread, you name it! And of course not to mention all the chocolate, crisps and biscuits I ate over the last 6 days. Exercise has been none existent, and yet I've still managed to loose 4lbs! Very confusing.


Back at uni today so had two slices of toast this morning and then for dinner I had two small chicken breasts with wholegrain pasta (which actually tastes nicer than the ordinary white pasta). It is also a similar price, which is good :) Brought back with me another exercise DVD as even though I only tried the other one for a few days, I was getting bored with already! The one I will be using from now on is one I've had for about three years, its a Ministry of Sound Pump It Up Hi-Energy work out DVD, and is absolutely fantastic. I would recommend it to anybody! The dance routines are fun, easy to pick up, and you really feel like you have worked out at the gym after completing it. It also has a 'Dance it up' section, where you get to learn a lot of good dance moves.


http://www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?hl=en&q=ministry+of+sound+pump+it+up+hi-energy&gs_sm=11&gs_upl=415l4832l0l6096l22l11l0l11l11l0l191l844l8.3l22l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.,cf.osb&biw=1366&bih=677&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=3808257099999433436&sa=X&ei=Pyg0T4_BJpCq8QPtqNy2Ag&sqi=2&ved=0CFQQ8wIwBA


This is the link to the DVD I'm writing about. If like me you are scared of the gym then this is a must have! Once you get used to the routines you can choose an option which allows you to mute the exercise instructors voice, but still see the video and listen to the music, which a lot of work out DVD's don't have. This is useful if you want to listen to the music loud, without the embarrassment of an instructor shouting instructions at you, and the people you live with being able to hear. 


I am going to do this work out tonight... wish me luck!


:)

Day 5

Saturday 4th Feb 2012 11.23 PM


Today has been crazy busy, worked 12 - 9 PM. Didn't wake up until 30 minutes before my shift, so didn't have time to eat before hand and then stupidly left all food at home. This led me to work a 9 hour shift with absolutely nothing to eat. My dad had some chilli con carne waiting for me when I got home (about 9.30 PM) so that was the extent of today's eating! My midriff is looking smaller than ever, and today at work couldn't stop putting my hand up the back of my shirt to feel how different my hips and lower back feel. Major improvement!


No exercise today, unless you count a 9 hour shift stood on my feet, running around after customers all day! Working all day tomorrow, so can expect a similar routine with the eating side of things.


:)

Day 4

Friday 3rd Feb 2012, 9:48 PM

Back at my parents house for the weekend, and managed to us their scales. I weigh 9 Stone, 2 lbs, which is a loss of 4 lbs. Not convinced of this, but then again I have been drinking water like crazy, so maybe its 'water weight' that I have lost. Rest assured I have eaten enough of my parents cooking to replace that loss by tomorrow morning :/

Didn't manage to do the work out DVD today as had lectures in the morning and then was travelling this afternoon. I also managed to leave my DVD in my room at uni, which of course is of little benefit there! However, was running late for my train and had to walk the 2 miles as fast as physically possible, even running most of it (whilst being weighed down with bags of laundry and books etc.) so I was an unflattering sweaty heap by the time I jumped on my train. This did make me feel good, because I really pushed myself, and man did I feel the burn! My legs are so sore tonight, and don't want to cause myself an injury so will take it easy :)

Had some poached chicken for lunch earlier, and for dinner had a jacket potato, spaghetti and two fish fingers. Not the best of dinners in the calorie sense, but this is a luxury meal compared to what I've been eating this last week. Also had two packets of crisps and few naughty biscuits today, so will be going to bed feeling extremely guilty tonight!

As promised here are some killer workout techniques you can do from the comfort of your own home, without having to step foot near a gym. And trust me when I say killer, thought my limbs were going to fall off!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-axxbSVbIvY
This is called the 'Fire Hydrant' perfect for toning up the hip and thigh area

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYKBIzphcGY
Sit up's (for women) However I'm sure suitable for men also

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_7s7UpNbWg
Push up's (a simple explanation on how to do them properly!)

I tend to do 30 of the Fire hydrant technique on both sides, 50 sit ups and 50 push ups a day. You can add additional squats and lunges if your legs need toning up too. But I need to remember that this is all pointless unless I've done some decent cardio to burn some fat!

:)

Day 3 Update

Had the usual chicken and pasta for dinner, and actually committed to my work out DVD in full this evening! However studied myself in the mirror, and for some reason I look bigger than ever. Maybe it was all that chocolate the other night! I have been drinking 2 litres of water a day though, and am feeling better for that already. I know it's mad to expect changes over a few days, but I can't help but be disappointed :(

The workout consisted of the warm up, burn up, and tone up sections, and I even proceeded to go on a 30 minute run, and finish with 50 sit ups, 50 crunches, and the weird crab workout position that tones your bum. Tomorrow I will add some you tube videos to show exactly what it is that I've been doing!

Back at my parents house for the weekend, so will have my first proper weigh in using their scales, not expecting any weight to have come off in a few days, but if I've put weight on then I will not be a happy bunny! 

:)

Day three, FAIL

Thursday 2nd February 2012

Major failure last night. Was so irritable I just though '*$%! it!' had one cigarette and bought copious amounts of chocolate from the shop (borrowed a few pounds from a friend). I then proceeded to completely ignore my work out DVD and go to bed feeling even worse that I did before. Had a banging head ache all night, and I think it was down to this set back, or the cigarette at least. However, woke up today feeling in a much more positive mood! About to have a tomato 'cuppa' soup (eating at 1pm rather than at 6pm for my first meal of the day), and although this doesn't really count as a meal it's about all I can manage right now.

My need for chocolate and cigarettes is minimal today, and I can't wait for my lectures to be over so that I can do my workout DVD. Will eat even less today to compensate for the error's I made last night. VERY annoyed at myself! Will post again later tonight :)

Saw an extremely attractive slim girl in my morning lecture, so she will be my 'thinspiration' for the day :)

Day two

Wednesday 1st Feb 2012 4:52 pm


Today hasn't gone badly, although I feel absolutely terrible. Still haven't smoked, but now feel like I could murder someone, as I am craving a cigarette really badly. The lack of money situation had de-motivated me to even get out of bed properly, let alone do a full work out! I had some left over chicken spaghetti from yesterday that I had today (at around 3pm) and have so far had about a litre of water. I don't even want to think about dinner, as all I want to do now is go to the shop and buy about 50 chocolate bars, some Haribo and Pringles. Not forgetting a big bottle of Coca Cola! 


However, through all the negatives, I did notice that my stomach is not nearly as bloated as it was two days ago. This must be down to either the minimal food I've been eating, or the copious amounts of water I have been drinking. I know that foods such as white bread make my stomach bloated, so maybe it is the reduction of carbs that has had this effect. Either way, I know for a fact that one day of exercise can not be the reason :)


I felt fine when I started this, but feel really, really down today. This is to be expected I guess through not enough food and quitting smoking. Tonight I do plan on using my workout DVD, maybe some exercise will make me feel better! Also just realised that as I haven't defrosted any chicken today, tonight's dinner will have to be fish so will probably have that with a small amount of brown rice, and some vegetables. Thrilling! D: 


At my parents house this weekend so will be able to weigh myself then, so will post if there have been any changes! Also, the feeling of hunger is surprisingly easy to rid with plenty of water, makes you stomach feel full :)

Day one

Tuesday 31st January 2012, 7:55 pm


Today has gone surprisingly well. I've not had a cigarette, and the fact that I was really craving one for the first part of the day gave me no appetite until about 5.30pm. At 5.30 I had one tin of Heinz Tomato Soup, and two glasses of water. 


I then put on my Ministry of Sound workout DVD and completed the warm up, tone up, and cardio sections of the DVD. After doing this I also added 30 push ups, as they weren't really included in the DVD. After all that exercise (about an hour and a half) I was definitely in the mood for something to eat, so I had one small chicken breast (cubed) with spaghetti (again) tomato pasta sauce, a dash of red wine and some chilli powder. I filled up a 2 litre bottle with water, and will make sure I drink the contents before I go to bed!


At the moment I'm still feeling hungry, I'm irritable and I need to smoke. BADLY. My stomach, legs, bum and arms hurt from the intense tone up session in my work out (including 50 normal sit ups, and then 50 sit ups on each side, leaning to each side to tone up everywhere on my stomach). I will do another 50 sit ups before bed, 50 push ups, and 50 squats, as these toning techniques are what I need to tone up the areas I'm not happy with. I am also in dire need of some serious carbohydrates, and lots of chocolate!! Luckily I have no money to break the diet. (:


Food consumed so far:
1 tin on Heinz Tomato Soup
1 small chicken breast
90g of dried spaghetti
three table spoons of Tomato Pasta sauce, and two tea spoons of red wine
Almost 2 litres of water


Total calories: Around 700.


After a few posts I will be uploading a picture of the areas on my body I want to change, and will post pictures of *hopefully* some changes.

Introduction

Monday 30^th Jan 2012 10:40pm

Okay so through lack of funds for unhealthy food (or food at all) and hate for my overall body shape I have decided at this time to loose weight, tone up, and also give up smoking. Not sure how this is going to work as have recently restarted taking the contraceptive pill which is known for making you gain weight, as is giving up smoking. However I like to think that with enough exercise and a healthy minimal diet, this will counter this inevitable weight gain.

Currently in my freezer I have three bags of frozen chicken fillets, three bags of frozen fish fillets, and copious amounts of frozen veg. I also have a few packs of frozen sausages, that I may have to eat if I get desperate! Cupboard consists of some pasta, brown rice, dried spaghetti and a few tins of tomato soup. I also have a ministry of sound work out DVD, and some Adios weight loss pills. The pills contain a seaweed extract that swells in your stomach to make you feel fuller for longer, so they are not cheating. All cigarettes have been smoked, and since I have no money to buy any, that is the end of that matter!

I also have some meal replacement shakes, which I find useful because I don't always have an appetite until around 6pm, which is when my binging of unhealthy food usually takes place. My current weight is 9stone, 6lbs, which makes me around a size 10-12. Would preferably like to keep my curves, loose a bit of fat from my stomach, arms, and the tops of my legs. My height is 5'4. Although I know I'm not morbidly obese, I would still like to change these things about myself, and document it so that others can see how successful/unsuccessful I am.

Today's diet has been extremely up and down, no breakfast, had two slices of toast with peanut butter on and a cup of tea at around 4.30 pm. For dinner at about 8.30 pm I defrosted a small chicken breast and had it with spaghetti and a small amount of tomato pasta sauce. Not a huge amount of calories for the day, but then ruined it all by going to the shop and spending my last few pounds on a packet of heat wave chilli Doritos, a small bottle of coke, a snickers bar and two caramel freddo's. As disgraceful as this is, I had to spend my last bit of money on something other than a packet of cigarettes, other wise I know I will never quit.

Currently I am living in halls at University and so have control over all of my meals. This does mean however, that I don't actually own a set of scales so will have to rely over the next few weeks on the scales at my parents house to monitor my weight. I do in fact have a free gym membership for next few weeks at University, but am too scared to venture to the gym just yet. My flat mate (who is a gym buff) has agreed to attend some sort of aerobic or spinning class with me as we also have access to these for free. Might make me feel better having someone to come along with me, in a small class, rather than in a gym full of healthy athletic people that may laugh at me!

I shall keep posting.