It's true, being hungry sucks. I feel down all the time, I hate the feeling of hunger! It turns me into a miserable, irritable, depressive b*tch. However these feelings get to me so much that it's got to the point where I can't be bothered to eat. I feel like, what's the point? I'll eat a small portion of pasta, and feel even more hungry once I've finished!
Take today for example, woke up late due to lack of energy (through lack of eating) and therefore missed my lectures. Not a good start to the day. I was so annoyed and anxious that the thought of eating anything was nauseating. At around 6PM I managed to eat two slices of toast with peanut butter on them. Wow, what a fantastic balanced meal... I think not.
Pretty much everyday since I last updated this blog has been like this in terms of how I have felt and what I have eaten. The other thing that's stopping me from eating properly and on a regular basis, is the state that the shared kitchen in my student accommodation is left in. Its filthy and disgusting. People drop bits of food all over the floor, and just leave them there to rot. One of my flatmates uses a ridiculous amount of oil when frying food (for pretty much every meal) and somehow manages to spill half of the cooking oil over the stove, the kitchen work tops, AND the floor. They then think that cleaning it with just water will solve the problem, and of course instead it's just spreading the oil around from surface to surface. What's worse is, whoever it is, tends to just dump the frying pan with the remaining oil into the sink, with everybody else's washing up. This means that every other item in the sink ends up with a layer of grease, which physically repulses me. No wonder I hardly have an appetite these days!
Studied myself in the mirror again today, still can't see any difference, even though I'm practically eating nothing during the day now, and a small pointless, feeble 'meal' in the afternoon. Don't get me wrong, this isn't always through choice, the money situation is no longer bleak, it's just non existent. There is no money situation, because there is no money. This is another thing which annoys me, people don't seem to understand that when you say you have NO money it means, you have NO money. People constantly say to me, 'Surely you have ten or twenty pounds you could spend on coming out tonight?' No, is the answer to that, no I don't just have a spare ten or twenty pounds laying around in my flat, and even if I did, it would be going straight on FOOD, the thing I need to keep me alive, rather than four or five drinks in over priced garish bars.
One thing I've noticed also is that whenever you are hungry, all people tend to do is talk about food. Even if they're close friends, who know your situation, they will still insist on telling you about the fantastically huge amount of amazing food they have to look forward to for their dinners. And what's even worse, is that even if I had access to the same amount of food they eat daily, I'd put on a sh*t load of weight, unlike them of course. I don't mean to come across as bitter, but come on, we all know that one person who can eat like a horse and just get skinnier.
So yes, on that note let me take the time to add that anybody following a minimalist diet like myself by CHOICE, you are crazy. Go buy a burger, because not eating SUCKS!
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment